I've been thinking a lot about weakness lately. More specifically, I've been thinking about the behaviors and failings I see every day in people all around me. To narrow the scope even further: I'm really goddamn tired of people being bitches.
Of course, since you don't share my head with me, that probably is still pretty vague. Well, my friend, allow me to fill a moment of your time with some rant.
Let's start with the obvious: Physical weakness. Frankly, I'm disgusted by what I see. In the workplace, on the street, on YouTube, in the grocery store, wherever. When a 100 pound girl hands me a jar she can't open, that's one thing (though I firmly believe she should be able to open the jar 9 times out of 10), but when a man hands me the same jar, and I don't have to put any measurable amount of effort into opening it, I want to slap him like the bitch he is.
I am NOT the pinnacle of human strength. I'm not even remotely close to my own strength potential. In terms of what the human body can do, I'm really not that strong. But in terms of the average fucker I see trying to pick up a child or a sack of groceries, I'm fucking Heracles. It's retarded. More than that, it's embarrassing. Yes, I sometimes get embarrassed for people because of how much they've suppressed their physical abilities through negligence and ignorance. The ignorance part I can understand; it's a cultural failing. The negligence part...
Well, even the negligence is, in many cases I'm sure, a cultural failing. A lot of physical weakness comes from how we've enslaved ourselves to convenience. People practically crap in their pants when I tell them I'm going to walk to something that's a mile away. Really? A fucking mile? REALLY?! How sad is it that people think walking a mile is some sort of actual achievement? And I'm not just talking fat people either. Skinny people, tall people, short people, fat people, muscular people, people who jog multiple miles in a day-- they all think I'm insane for walking as little as a mile. Not because driving is faster, but because that's SO MUCH WALKING. It's sick.
The convenience factor has an accomplice: The engineering-shit-so-that-an-infant-can-do-it factor. Easy open bags that are pre-torn because we're a bunch of sissies. Strollers to carry our children. Rolling suitcases. Automatic doors. Automatic anything. All designed to take physical work out of our lives, rendering us weaker with each innovation.
As time rolls on, and we sissify more and more, people seem to think that it's normal. How many times have I heard, "Be careful! That's really heavy!" before I pick up something that weighs 10 pounds... feels like billions. Pathetic. But nobody bats an eyelash when they see somebody who can't open/lift/pull/push an object. People have no idea what they're body is capable of right now, this second, and we're all OK with that. It's culturally acceptable to be too weak to carry a bag of groceries a mile from the store to your house.
The cultural failings that affect our physical weakness apply to other areas of weakness. I see a lot of... I'm not sure what to call it. I see a lot of people not taking care of shit. A lot of self-proclaimed victims of outcomes precipitated by their own laziness and negligence. Take care of your shit! Pay your bills! All of your bills! Get to work! On time! Do your fucking job! Do it right! Too many people I see and talk to are sitting around waiting for shit to get done for them. When it doesn't get done and they're all fucked, then they cry about how they got fucked, when they only got fucked because they were too busy fucking off being a lazy bitch and didn't take care of business! This is absolutely a form of weakness.
Life may be hard to live, or it may not (either way, I don't think it has to be, but that's another subject). Either way, doesn't matter. Do what needs doing. Do it without bitching. Need food? Go get some. Need money? Get a job. You aren't too good to scrub a toilet or hand out flyers, asshole. Need to get from A to B, but your car is broken? Get there anyway, for fuck's sake. Walk. Bike. Hitch. Take the bus.
I realize I've degenerated into almost structureless, virtually pointless rants, but fuck it. I'm so irritated with this bullshit. I am not the most stand up guy. I don't have all my ducks in a row. But come on! So many folks just passively sitting around playing the victim card anytime ANYTHING goes wrong in their lives, from the minor to the major. Fills me with some serious hate for my fellow man, I tell you what.
Being a passive victim seems to be OK with people. Sometimes I think they don't even realize they're being so ridiculous. Have parents just given up trying to raise their children? How is it even possible that somebody could have a child, and not somehow communicate to their offspring that said offspring needs to take care of fucking business? Where or how would that child grow into the idea that doing nothing about anything is acceptable?
I got the first part of this blog (about the physical weakness) written, with a clear view of where I was headed. Then I got distracted for a couple hours, and completely lost my focus. Insert jokes about mental weakness here.
In summary, let me just say that I have a very harsh, judgmental view of the people around me, and I am not at all ashamed of it. Pick yourself up, do what needs doing, burn your victim card, and for fuck's sake, maybe doing a push-up or something wouldn't hurt.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
People Still DO That?!
On our way home today around one in the afternoon, Suzi and I rode the elevator up to our 37th floor apartment with a little old Asian lady who lives on our same floor. She started right in telling us about her day; she went to the market for coffee, almost got back home when she realized she forgot to get the coffee, and had to go all the way back to get it (and yeah, that's a good bit of walking for a tiny old lady). Then she told us about how she doesn't like Hawaii grown coffee. I didn't quite catch the kind she does like. The whole time she was talking story, she was smiling and laughing, and it was really pretty fun to listen to her.
Then we all got off the elevator (we got off first and she waved goodbye and almost forgot to get off, which was good for another laugh for everybody) and went to our respective apartments.
So later on, we're celebrating the completion of what we think is Suzi's last hurdle before she can begin training for Assistant Manager at her new Starbucks store by ordering some delicious Pizza Hut. While waiting for the elevator to go down, the little old Asian lady comes around the corner and tells us that she made some spring rolls and was going to take them over to our apartment! She gave us a little tray of 5 piping hot, homemade spring rolls. Who does that these days?! I mean, today was the first day we ever said a word to each other (and may be the first day we've even seen her). We were absolutely blown away! In fact, we were so absolutely floored by the gesture (and her sweet old lady disposition) that we forgot to introduce ourselves or get her name. At least we remembered to thank her!
While we were waiting for the driver we each had a spring roll. Freaking delicious.
Now I'm gonna be looking for her in the halls to get her name so that if we ever slip a thank-you note under her door (apartments here are behind shared vestibules with separate doors so knocking won't always be heard, and you can't actually slip a note under a specific aparment's doorway) we can address it to someone more specific than Sweet-Old-Asian-Lady or Ms. Spring Roll.
Then we all got off the elevator (we got off first and she waved goodbye and almost forgot to get off, which was good for another laugh for everybody) and went to our respective apartments.
So later on, we're celebrating the completion of what we think is Suzi's last hurdle before she can begin training for Assistant Manager at her new Starbucks store by ordering some delicious Pizza Hut. While waiting for the elevator to go down, the little old Asian lady comes around the corner and tells us that she made some spring rolls and was going to take them over to our apartment! She gave us a little tray of 5 piping hot, homemade spring rolls. Who does that these days?! I mean, today was the first day we ever said a word to each other (and may be the first day we've even seen her). We were absolutely blown away! In fact, we were so absolutely floored by the gesture (and her sweet old lady disposition) that we forgot to introduce ourselves or get her name. At least we remembered to thank her!
While we were waiting for the driver we each had a spring roll. Freaking delicious.
Now I'm gonna be looking for her in the halls to get her name so that if we ever slip a thank-you note under her door (apartments here are behind shared vestibules with separate doors so knocking won't always be heard, and you can't actually slip a note under a specific aparment's doorway) we can address it to someone more specific than Sweet-Old-Asian-Lady or Ms. Spring Roll.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Happy Earth Day
Today is Earth Day - The one day of the year we have set aside to think about what we can do to save the world ecosystem that we are decimating at an incalculable rate. It's a day of recycling, of volunteering, of buying the bottle of water that donates 5 cents to the world wildlife fund instead of the cheaper store brand bottle.
OK, that's as cynical as I'm going to let myself get. Part of what I've come to understand in the past couple of years is that cynicism is NOT wit, and it never helps anything.
What are you doing this Earth Day? Did you even know it was Earth Day? I'm laying in bed sick. I don't know what I caught (a girl at work did call in with strep throat), but it has set up shop in my lungs, and is apparently producing cotton by the bushel. I feel like I'm operating with only half a lung.
Let's talk about the bad:
I have my doubts as to the effectiveness of a single, media-hyped Earth Day. The other year, Suzi volunteered to go plant some trees with a group of Starbucks employees. Before they all got in their gasoline powered cars and drove out into the woods, they all stopped at a Starbucks and picked up some coffee in disposable cups. How many trees did it take to produce those cups? If those cups were composted instead of thrown in a landfill, they would eventually return to the cycle of life on the planet (hopefully the chemicals used to make them weren't too toxic), but the plastic lids will be around long after the current 'climate crisis' has come to a resolution. Obviously, this was a flawed endeavor. There are a lot of flawed endeavors.
There is a brand of bottled water called Ethos. For every bottle purchased, 5 cents or so goes toward getting water to dehydrated children in Africa. Maybe elsewhere too, but I think it's Africa. Sounds good? The problem with this plan is that the bottles of water being sold are killing the ecosystems of the planet, which is a far worse crime than letting a few thousand (or million, or whatever) kids die of dirty water diseases. If the ecosystem goes, we'll lose a lot more people than that.
The bottles kill the ecosystem like so: To produce the plastic bottles, resources are taken from the planet. The resources are then turned into severely toxic chemicals (if they weren't already, like oil). These chemicals then make the pretty plastic bottles, which leach toxins into the water we drink out of them, which hurt us, then (some) come out in our pee and go down the line to hurt other plants and animals, which are eaten by other animals and plants which are in turn hurt by the chemicals, and then we eat those plants and animals and get hurt by the chemicals again. If the bottle is recycled, it will produce just as much toxic waste as it did when it was produced the first time. If it's put in a landfill, it will sit for a thousand years leaching chemicals into the earth. Yes, by now we should all know that plastic is goddamn horrible.
But what about the water in that charitable Ethos bottle? Where did it come from? I guarantee that it came from thousands of miles away. So what? Well, when you take water out of an ecosystem and transport it thousands of miles away, it does not return to that ecosystem. It is now a part of the system that it ended up at. This is the sneaky way that bottled water is extremely dangerous. Water tables around the world are dropping, meaning that less and less fresh water is available in the world. We are simply pumping the water out of individual ecosystems faster than the planet can put it back in. Bottled water companies pump out FUCKLOADS of water from a system, then ship it around the world so that people can drink it and then pee it into a sewage treatment facility that will probably put it in the ocean instead of back where it belongs.
Yeah, water evaporates off the ocean and becomes rain, but that doesn't mean that pouring water into the Gulf of Mexico will ensure rainfall in India, or even in Florida. A lot of rain falls right back into the ocean. Various climate factors will push the water vapor this way and that, but I'm telling you that the rain in that midwestern thunderstorm did NOT come from the coast of Norway.
Even if rain does fall where it is needed, how much of it gets back down into the water table? Rain that falls on concrete either evaporates and goes elsewhere, or it runs into a sewer that puts it back in the ocean, or into a river that runs to the ocean. And there is a damn lot of concrete in the world. Many areas that are dried out have soil that can't accept a lot of water all at once, so when it rains the water rushes away to more permeable lands, leaving the parched areas just as parched as they were before the rain - so even if the bottle you dumped in the Gulf of Mexico made it rain in Kenya, the Kenyans couldn't drink it.
So, bottled water bad, even when it tries to be good. That's just one example of a good intention that does a lot of bad.
My intention here is not to give you a bunch of examples of people miserably failing in their quest to do right by the world. My intention is to encourage you to think about what you do, and what others do, when we try to do the right thing. People often pick a cause, and get so focused on it that they lose sight of other problems. Have you ever seen somebody in a "save the trees" T-shirt carrying a plastic bag of goods from a convenience store, or using a paper cup? I have. Does that mean the person doesn't want to actually "save the trees"? Not at all. They've probably just focused on one or two ways to "save the trees" (like logging or volunteering to plant trees) and have failed to think of the world as a system, where a change in one part affects all the other parts. Planting trees, picking up trash, protesting GM crops, and distributing information to raise environmental awareness are all well and good, but we must consider how we go about doing these good things.
And now let's talk about the good.
If you look at the statistics, numbers, and studies regarding environmental damage and the 'climate crisis', there is not much good news to be had. I think that the chances of humanity correcting its bad behavior and saving life as we know it look pretty slim. What we need is a cultural shift in the way we perceive our role on this planet, and that is a change of cyclopean magnitude. The essence of 'the good' in this case is that change can happen. By thinking about environmental issues, you are initiating a change in yourself. By acting on those thoughts you create a positive change in yourself and your immediate surroundings. By repeating those actions, you increase awareness in those around you. Whether or not change will come in time we cannot know. What we can know is that we can change. And in the knowing, have we not begun?
Have a happy and positive Earth Day, doing what you know you can to make life better :)
OK, that's as cynical as I'm going to let myself get. Part of what I've come to understand in the past couple of years is that cynicism is NOT wit, and it never helps anything.
What are you doing this Earth Day? Did you even know it was Earth Day? I'm laying in bed sick. I don't know what I caught (a girl at work did call in with strep throat), but it has set up shop in my lungs, and is apparently producing cotton by the bushel. I feel like I'm operating with only half a lung.
Let's talk about the bad:
I have my doubts as to the effectiveness of a single, media-hyped Earth Day. The other year, Suzi volunteered to go plant some trees with a group of Starbucks employees. Before they all got in their gasoline powered cars and drove out into the woods, they all stopped at a Starbucks and picked up some coffee in disposable cups. How many trees did it take to produce those cups? If those cups were composted instead of thrown in a landfill, they would eventually return to the cycle of life on the planet (hopefully the chemicals used to make them weren't too toxic), but the plastic lids will be around long after the current 'climate crisis' has come to a resolution. Obviously, this was a flawed endeavor. There are a lot of flawed endeavors.
There is a brand of bottled water called Ethos. For every bottle purchased, 5 cents or so goes toward getting water to dehydrated children in Africa. Maybe elsewhere too, but I think it's Africa. Sounds good? The problem with this plan is that the bottles of water being sold are killing the ecosystems of the planet, which is a far worse crime than letting a few thousand (or million, or whatever) kids die of dirty water diseases. If the ecosystem goes, we'll lose a lot more people than that.
The bottles kill the ecosystem like so: To produce the plastic bottles, resources are taken from the planet. The resources are then turned into severely toxic chemicals (if they weren't already, like oil). These chemicals then make the pretty plastic bottles, which leach toxins into the water we drink out of them, which hurt us, then (some) come out in our pee and go down the line to hurt other plants and animals, which are eaten by other animals and plants which are in turn hurt by the chemicals, and then we eat those plants and animals and get hurt by the chemicals again. If the bottle is recycled, it will produce just as much toxic waste as it did when it was produced the first time. If it's put in a landfill, it will sit for a thousand years leaching chemicals into the earth. Yes, by now we should all know that plastic is goddamn horrible.
But what about the water in that charitable Ethos bottle? Where did it come from? I guarantee that it came from thousands of miles away. So what? Well, when you take water out of an ecosystem and transport it thousands of miles away, it does not return to that ecosystem. It is now a part of the system that it ended up at. This is the sneaky way that bottled water is extremely dangerous. Water tables around the world are dropping, meaning that less and less fresh water is available in the world. We are simply pumping the water out of individual ecosystems faster than the planet can put it back in. Bottled water companies pump out FUCKLOADS of water from a system, then ship it around the world so that people can drink it and then pee it into a sewage treatment facility that will probably put it in the ocean instead of back where it belongs.
Yeah, water evaporates off the ocean and becomes rain, but that doesn't mean that pouring water into the Gulf of Mexico will ensure rainfall in India, or even in Florida. A lot of rain falls right back into the ocean. Various climate factors will push the water vapor this way and that, but I'm telling you that the rain in that midwestern thunderstorm did NOT come from the coast of Norway.
Even if rain does fall where it is needed, how much of it gets back down into the water table? Rain that falls on concrete either evaporates and goes elsewhere, or it runs into a sewer that puts it back in the ocean, or into a river that runs to the ocean. And there is a damn lot of concrete in the world. Many areas that are dried out have soil that can't accept a lot of water all at once, so when it rains the water rushes away to more permeable lands, leaving the parched areas just as parched as they were before the rain - so even if the bottle you dumped in the Gulf of Mexico made it rain in Kenya, the Kenyans couldn't drink it.
So, bottled water bad, even when it tries to be good. That's just one example of a good intention that does a lot of bad.
My intention here is not to give you a bunch of examples of people miserably failing in their quest to do right by the world. My intention is to encourage you to think about what you do, and what others do, when we try to do the right thing. People often pick a cause, and get so focused on it that they lose sight of other problems. Have you ever seen somebody in a "save the trees" T-shirt carrying a plastic bag of goods from a convenience store, or using a paper cup? I have. Does that mean the person doesn't want to actually "save the trees"? Not at all. They've probably just focused on one or two ways to "save the trees" (like logging or volunteering to plant trees) and have failed to think of the world as a system, where a change in one part affects all the other parts. Planting trees, picking up trash, protesting GM crops, and distributing information to raise environmental awareness are all well and good, but we must consider how we go about doing these good things.
And now let's talk about the good.
If you look at the statistics, numbers, and studies regarding environmental damage and the 'climate crisis', there is not much good news to be had. I think that the chances of humanity correcting its bad behavior and saving life as we know it look pretty slim. What we need is a cultural shift in the way we perceive our role on this planet, and that is a change of cyclopean magnitude. The essence of 'the good' in this case is that change can happen. By thinking about environmental issues, you are initiating a change in yourself. By acting on those thoughts you create a positive change in yourself and your immediate surroundings. By repeating those actions, you increase awareness in those around you. Whether or not change will come in time we cannot know. What we can know is that we can change. And in the knowing, have we not begun?
Have a happy and positive Earth Day, doing what you know you can to make life better :)
Friday, January 8, 2010
Have Your Want and Need It Too
What do you want, and how can you reconcile that with what you need? You want a fifty-two inch flatscreen, but you need to pay your rent. You want to take karate lessons, but you need to buy food. You want a bigger house, but you need to pay off your student loans.
This line, this versus, this conflict between want and need, it is artificial. It is a construct, a block, a dam, and it doesn't need to even exist. In short, it's bullshit.
Our society has created a sort of emotional/spiritual/ethical vacuum. We live in a culture of want. more specifically, I want. The status quo is to acquire something, and then work on acquiring the next link in the chain. Buy your first car, then start dreaming of the day when you can afford a better one. Buy your first TV, then start eyeballing the larger model. Get your first paycheck, then start asking yourself how you can make it bigger. This vacuum we've created is voracious. Before you know it, this void has forced you to prioritize your life according to what you want (aka, what you cannot have) and what you need. What you think you need.
The other devious effect our society has is to cloud our judgement regarding what 'need' even means. Is 'need' the things that your body will die without, like food and air? Is 'need' what makes you happy, like music and sex? Is 'need' what makes you better than other people, like education and money?
Let me be perfectly clear: When I say 'our society', I'm not vilifying the government, or the mega corporations. I'm not talking about some essentially faceless pseudo entity that is easy to hate and blame. I'm talking about you. Me. Our parents, their parents, and so on. We've all fostered this ridiculous mindset.
My contention is that what we want and what we need are in fact the same thing. My assertion is that convenience-oriented living, global media, corporate media, misconception, and ignorance have conspired to confuse and mislead us.
Simplify. Take a good, hard look at the conveniences in your life. How convenient are they, really? Is your car a godsend for getting you where you need to go? Does it weigh you down or worry you with payments, insurance, the price of fuel? That food you eat from the take out place: It was really fast and tasty, but is it nourishing you in any meaningful way? Do you actually, truly want food that is loaded with chemicals and processed beyond having meaningful nutritive value? All those little 'time-saver' gadgets in your house: How many minutes do they actually save you? Is it possible that instead of helping you handle a horrible chore, they are robbing you of a valuable experience?
But there it is: We've come to perceive anything that takes a minute off our clock without giving us an emotional high as work, and we've come to revile work. Work must be shunned, avoided, dealt with ASAP so we can get on to having fun, getting high.
The highs are artificial too.
I'm not saying people shouldn't be happy, or that happiness is a dream. What I'm saying is that to balance our perception of work as torture, we've created this idea that we must pursue FUN whenever possible. FUN isn't relaxing or being happy. FUN is not fun. FUN is getting high. We feel so oppressed by work in our daily lives, whether it is our job or the things we think of as chores or tasks at home, that we go and seek an extreme opposite so we can feel balanced. We have to plan elaborate, often expensive things to do to relieve us of how we feel most of the time. And of course, the cycle of FUN is often horrible:
Step one: Anticipate. Forget what you're doing and keep your mind focused on the time when FUN will arrive. Be excited for FUN. LONG for the day when you get to have FUN. Long so much it causes physical discomfort. This step can start months before FUN does.
Step two: FUN. Go do the FUN thing. This thing is often short lived, lasting only a day, or maybe even only a couple hours.
Step three: Mourn. The FUN happened, but now it's gone and you feel empty. More than empty though, you feel somehow robbed or cheated. You wish so much that FUN had not stopped. Wish it so much that you might get discomfort similar to that which you felt during step one.
Just like a junkie. I'm not high, and man, life sucks. I'm high and life is awesome! Oh man, I'm not high any more and life sucks.
When you were a kid, did you go through a similar cycle around Christmas time? Anticipating the day, being excited out of your mind on Christmas morning, then deflating when all the presents were opened, the food was eaten, and it was life as usual again?
A similar cycle happens with money and possessions. In our society, few, if any, things are ever enough. The TV is never big enough, the computer is never fast enough, the car is never nice enough, the house is never big enough, the income is absolutely never even close to big enough. So we hop on the wheel and get running. Chase more dollars, because if you get more dollars then you can get the next thing, and THEN it will be enough, right? You just need to get a house that's a little bit bigger, and it will be enough. You just need to get a car that's a little bit newer, and it will be enough. You just need to get one more step up the ladder at work, and your income will be big enough.
But it never is, is it?
You might realize, intellectually, that your Item X does what you ask it to, what it's intended for, what you need it to do for you. But for some reason, you want a new one. Item X has lost its shine, so to speak. That, my friend, is the vacuum. That vacuum created by society has sucked the value of Item X away from you and left you wanting Item Y.
The tragedy of all this is that people don't know why they feel so bad so often. They truly believe that "If I can just get this Thing, I will be happy". Then when they have the Thing, they are not happy for long, or in a meaningful way. And like that old definition of insanity, they think that if they get the Next Thing, THEN they will be happy. It just goes on and on.
Solving this problem isn't easy, and it's deeply personal. There is no one path that will make everyone happy. However, there are some practices that can help a person find their own path.
For instance, slow down. I'm not saying you have to live like I do (though that would help make *me* happy), just try letting your foot off the gas a bit. You don't have to throw your bread machine, blender, and microwave away, but maybe you could try not using them for a week. You don't have to sell your car, but why not try not using it for a week, or at least only using it for distances of greater than 5 miles (one way)?
Another effort that's worth giving is to look very very critically at your possessions. Weigh the value they add against what they take away. A microwave adds speed, but it takes away the experience of preparing a meal. If you have a lover, when is the last time you cooked a meal with them? Computers and cell phones connect you to the world... do you ever feel leashed to them? You have a certifiable crap-o-lanche gathering dust in your garage. Do you really need an object you haven't touched in more than a year (and likely forgot you owned)?
And of course, again, simplify. Simplicity is NOT a measurement of time. That microwave is not simple; it is a highly complex device that demands special attention. It saves you time, on the surface, but it demands that you feed it (and yourself) equally unsimple food-like products. To simplify, try doing what you do with the least complicated devices you can (this will probably NOT include all of those time-saving convenience gadgets). Use your body to accomplish as much as possible (take the stairs, hand wash something, carry your baby instead of using the stroller). Eat things that grew naturally from the earth and are not genetically modified by man. Try, when thoughts of the Next Thing You Need come into your mind, to realize exactly how that Thing will really impact your life. Consider all aspects. Is what It will replace really no good? How hard will you have to work to obtain It? Will It truly free you, or will it be just another distraction to help you forget how melancholy you feel? Will It truly make you happy, or is It just another high?
It is not easy to dissect your life like this. It takes a lot of self-directed critical thinking, and it is very emotional. If you persist, you will find along the way that you sabotage yourself by making excuses for the things you do, and sometimes even lying to yourself about how you feel. But if you can persist beyond that, if you can recognize the value added to your life when you step off the hamster wheel of artificially created and mandated WANT, then something truly amazing happens: Want and Need stop looking so different.
Once you've discovered what truly makes you happy, and what truly does not, your perception shifts. The more good things you do for yourself, your body, your family; the more necessary those good things become. The more you will want those good things. The healthier you become (in mind, body, spirit; it makes no difference), the more you will want to feed that feeling of healthiness. Essentially, once you start doing Right, you start wanting Right, and you start needing Right. You may even uncover some passion that you did not realize you had, and you may find that not only do you want to pursue it, you need to pursue it, and since you've stripped away all that was wrong for you in your life, you will find that you have the time and motivation to pursue it.
As per usual, I'm pretty sure I missed half the points I wanted to make when I started this blog. I hope this one made sense.
This line, this versus, this conflict between want and need, it is artificial. It is a construct, a block, a dam, and it doesn't need to even exist. In short, it's bullshit.
Our society has created a sort of emotional/spiritual/ethical vacuum. We live in a culture of want. more specifically, I want. The status quo is to acquire something, and then work on acquiring the next link in the chain. Buy your first car, then start dreaming of the day when you can afford a better one. Buy your first TV, then start eyeballing the larger model. Get your first paycheck, then start asking yourself how you can make it bigger. This vacuum we've created is voracious. Before you know it, this void has forced you to prioritize your life according to what you want (aka, what you cannot have) and what you need. What you think you need.
The other devious effect our society has is to cloud our judgement regarding what 'need' even means. Is 'need' the things that your body will die without, like food and air? Is 'need' what makes you happy, like music and sex? Is 'need' what makes you better than other people, like education and money?
Let me be perfectly clear: When I say 'our society', I'm not vilifying the government, or the mega corporations. I'm not talking about some essentially faceless pseudo entity that is easy to hate and blame. I'm talking about you. Me. Our parents, their parents, and so on. We've all fostered this ridiculous mindset.
My contention is that what we want and what we need are in fact the same thing. My assertion is that convenience-oriented living, global media, corporate media, misconception, and ignorance have conspired to confuse and mislead us.
Simplify. Take a good, hard look at the conveniences in your life. How convenient are they, really? Is your car a godsend for getting you where you need to go? Does it weigh you down or worry you with payments, insurance, the price of fuel? That food you eat from the take out place: It was really fast and tasty, but is it nourishing you in any meaningful way? Do you actually, truly want food that is loaded with chemicals and processed beyond having meaningful nutritive value? All those little 'time-saver' gadgets in your house: How many minutes do they actually save you? Is it possible that instead of helping you handle a horrible chore, they are robbing you of a valuable experience?
But there it is: We've come to perceive anything that takes a minute off our clock without giving us an emotional high as work, and we've come to revile work. Work must be shunned, avoided, dealt with ASAP so we can get on to having fun, getting high.
The highs are artificial too.
I'm not saying people shouldn't be happy, or that happiness is a dream. What I'm saying is that to balance our perception of work as torture, we've created this idea that we must pursue FUN whenever possible. FUN isn't relaxing or being happy. FUN is not fun. FUN is getting high. We feel so oppressed by work in our daily lives, whether it is our job or the things we think of as chores or tasks at home, that we go and seek an extreme opposite so we can feel balanced. We have to plan elaborate, often expensive things to do to relieve us of how we feel most of the time. And of course, the cycle of FUN is often horrible:
Step one: Anticipate. Forget what you're doing and keep your mind focused on the time when FUN will arrive. Be excited for FUN. LONG for the day when you get to have FUN. Long so much it causes physical discomfort. This step can start months before FUN does.
Step two: FUN. Go do the FUN thing. This thing is often short lived, lasting only a day, or maybe even only a couple hours.
Step three: Mourn. The FUN happened, but now it's gone and you feel empty. More than empty though, you feel somehow robbed or cheated. You wish so much that FUN had not stopped. Wish it so much that you might get discomfort similar to that which you felt during step one.
Just like a junkie. I'm not high, and man, life sucks. I'm high and life is awesome! Oh man, I'm not high any more and life sucks.
When you were a kid, did you go through a similar cycle around Christmas time? Anticipating the day, being excited out of your mind on Christmas morning, then deflating when all the presents were opened, the food was eaten, and it was life as usual again?
A similar cycle happens with money and possessions. In our society, few, if any, things are ever enough. The TV is never big enough, the computer is never fast enough, the car is never nice enough, the house is never big enough, the income is absolutely never even close to big enough. So we hop on the wheel and get running. Chase more dollars, because if you get more dollars then you can get the next thing, and THEN it will be enough, right? You just need to get a house that's a little bit bigger, and it will be enough. You just need to get a car that's a little bit newer, and it will be enough. You just need to get one more step up the ladder at work, and your income will be big enough.
But it never is, is it?
You might realize, intellectually, that your Item X does what you ask it to, what it's intended for, what you need it to do for you. But for some reason, you want a new one. Item X has lost its shine, so to speak. That, my friend, is the vacuum. That vacuum created by society has sucked the value of Item X away from you and left you wanting Item Y.
The tragedy of all this is that people don't know why they feel so bad so often. They truly believe that "If I can just get this Thing, I will be happy". Then when they have the Thing, they are not happy for long, or in a meaningful way. And like that old definition of insanity, they think that if they get the Next Thing, THEN they will be happy. It just goes on and on.
Solving this problem isn't easy, and it's deeply personal. There is no one path that will make everyone happy. However, there are some practices that can help a person find their own path.
For instance, slow down. I'm not saying you have to live like I do (though that would help make *me* happy), just try letting your foot off the gas a bit. You don't have to throw your bread machine, blender, and microwave away, but maybe you could try not using them for a week. You don't have to sell your car, but why not try not using it for a week, or at least only using it for distances of greater than 5 miles (one way)?
Another effort that's worth giving is to look very very critically at your possessions. Weigh the value they add against what they take away. A microwave adds speed, but it takes away the experience of preparing a meal. If you have a lover, when is the last time you cooked a meal with them? Computers and cell phones connect you to the world... do you ever feel leashed to them? You have a certifiable crap-o-lanche gathering dust in your garage. Do you really need an object you haven't touched in more than a year (and likely forgot you owned)?
And of course, again, simplify. Simplicity is NOT a measurement of time. That microwave is not simple; it is a highly complex device that demands special attention. It saves you time, on the surface, but it demands that you feed it (and yourself) equally unsimple food-like products. To simplify, try doing what you do with the least complicated devices you can (this will probably NOT include all of those time-saving convenience gadgets). Use your body to accomplish as much as possible (take the stairs, hand wash something, carry your baby instead of using the stroller). Eat things that grew naturally from the earth and are not genetically modified by man. Try, when thoughts of the Next Thing You Need come into your mind, to realize exactly how that Thing will really impact your life. Consider all aspects. Is what It will replace really no good? How hard will you have to work to obtain It? Will It truly free you, or will it be just another distraction to help you forget how melancholy you feel? Will It truly make you happy, or is It just another high?
It is not easy to dissect your life like this. It takes a lot of self-directed critical thinking, and it is very emotional. If you persist, you will find along the way that you sabotage yourself by making excuses for the things you do, and sometimes even lying to yourself about how you feel. But if you can persist beyond that, if you can recognize the value added to your life when you step off the hamster wheel of artificially created and mandated WANT, then something truly amazing happens: Want and Need stop looking so different.
Once you've discovered what truly makes you happy, and what truly does not, your perception shifts. The more good things you do for yourself, your body, your family; the more necessary those good things become. The more you will want those good things. The healthier you become (in mind, body, spirit; it makes no difference), the more you will want to feed that feeling of healthiness. Essentially, once you start doing Right, you start wanting Right, and you start needing Right. You may even uncover some passion that you did not realize you had, and you may find that not only do you want to pursue it, you need to pursue it, and since you've stripped away all that was wrong for you in your life, you will find that you have the time and motivation to pursue it.
As per usual, I'm pretty sure I missed half the points I wanted to make when I started this blog. I hope this one made sense.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Takin' It Down a Notch
Anyone who's reading this probably is aware of the efforts of my wife and I to live in a way that makes minimal impact on our planet. We shun plastic, don't use toilet paper, don't buy packaged food, and reuse everything we can think of a way to reuse. We aren't perfect yet, but we're working on it :)
This blog isn't about that part of green living. It's not about the climate crisis. I wanted to take a minute to talk about the impact living this way has on my life. Not my body, my Life.
My efforts to live a simpler life have had a wonderful unexpected effect: I feel like everything's been turned down a notch.
I look out my apartment window any hour of the day or night and I see traffic. I remember driving, it's only been a couple months since I gave it up. I remember getting in my car and thinking ahead to where I was going. I wasn't thinking about where I was; what I was doing at the moment. I mean, I payed attention to the road as much as the next guy, but I didn't focus my whole mind on driving. I imagine that few do. I simply used the car as means to an end. I didn't want to waste my time getting to a place, I just wanted to be there; that attitude made traffic unbearable, but that's just part of life, right? You wanna go somewhere, you gotta get stuck in traffic sometimes.
I wonder how many hours of my Life I missed by focusing so hard on the destination and railing against where I was.
Now I walk almost everywhere I go. I spend a lot more time getting where I'm going. A mile takes 15-45 minutes, depending on the pace I choose. But that's not the major difference. The major difference is where my mind is. It's with me, not waiting for me at my destination. Part of that certainly comes from the slower travel speed; I have time to actually see my surroundings, the birds, the trees, the buildings, the people. But I think that the bigger reason is that there is no inherent tension in walking as transportation. There is a basic, perhaps primal, relaxing effect of moving my body at a natural pace. There's a sense of independence. I own this body, and I can drive it how I want. There's a sense of freedom; I can move it wherever I want. I think that as a culture we have built a lot of stress and pressure into driving. Financial pressures from the cost of purchasing the car, the maintenance, the fuel, the insurance. Stress from the clock: we have these vehicles capable of transporting us long distances in short time, and we've gotten in the habit of giving ourselves as little time as possible to get somewhere, so many of us are always running late. Then there's the legal aspects; all the rules and regulations to obey from maintaining your lights to staying in the proper lane, speed limits, pedestrian crossings, left turn arrows, etc. And the speed limit is never high enough, is it? And driving certainly brings out the competitive nature in many folks. I've heard more than one friends say, "This asshole won't pass ME." Hell, I've said that myself.
We are supposedly a nation that loves our cars. But who actually likes to drive, honestly? I bet they're in the minority.
But that's not the only improvement living a 'lower impact' lifestyle has made.
We do all our laundry by hand now. Well, most of it gets done by foot, in the bathtub. This saves us money (building washer/dryer are each $2.75/load; water is included in our rent). Saving a few bucks is nice, but it's not really a factor in why washing by hand is better. I'd say washing a load, from when I start stomping to when it's all hung on the rack, takes 30 minutes. It might take more, but I've never timed it. The magic of it is that for 30 minutes (or whatever) my brain decompresses. I let go of the brain reins and just let it run. Sometimes I work over philosophical issues. Sometimes I think about financial issues. Sometimes I think about my relationship to my wife. Sometimes childhood memories. One time I did an entire wash and when I was done I couldn't remember thinking about anything, or even doing the wash. I do NOT spend the wash time thinking about what I have to do next. Every time I finish the wash, I feel calm, rational, peaceful. I get a similar good feeling from doing the dishes by hand, though usually not as deep or profound as from doing laundry because the dishes only take about 5 minutes.
There is an important aspect of Zen philosophy that when simplified goes like this: Be where you are. It means don't be thinking about all the stops you have to make between work and home when you're eating breakfast before work, think about eating breakfast; taste your food. Don't think about how today is the last day of your weekend and you have so much work to do tomorrow, enjoy what you're doing on your day off. Don't think about what you're going to say when your lover finishes their sentence, listen to what your lover is saying to you.
It's not easy for everyone. We live in such a fast-paced society that puts a HEAVY emphasis on what's Next. What are you doing tomorrow? What are you doing after work? What's the next step in your career? This American pacing demands that SOMETHING comes next. There is no time to sit and enjoy, to dawdle or meander, because we must get to the next thing.
Perhaps there are people out there who, deep down, really like to live like that and can find satisfaction, deep, meaningful satisfaction, in that way of life. Perhaps. I doubt. Instead, I believe that such pacing, such emphasis on what's next is frighteningly detrimental to the health of people; physically, emotionally, spiritually.
I mean, I'm pretty sure I've become less of an asshole just in the few months since we started down this path. I'm becoming a better listener. I'm more inclined to read something twice and take a few minutes to think about it before I spout off some negative, reactionary statement. I'm more inclined than perhaps I've ever been to think about why somebody else does a thing before I dismiss them as a useless retard. And all of these changes have led to a more positive self image; I'm not perfect, but it's becoming easier and more enjoyable to spend time with myself. Nice, since I'm sorta stuck with me.
Living simpler, greener, like a hippy in a commune, however you want to label it, won't make you a Zen master, and it won't solve all your problems. But from my own admittedly brief experience, I believe that it helps. I believe it is conducive to a calmer, more rational, more compassionate mindset. Add that to the positive impact it has on health and environmental issues and you just can't lose.
This blog isn't about that part of green living. It's not about the climate crisis. I wanted to take a minute to talk about the impact living this way has on my life. Not my body, my Life.
My efforts to live a simpler life have had a wonderful unexpected effect: I feel like everything's been turned down a notch.
I look out my apartment window any hour of the day or night and I see traffic. I remember driving, it's only been a couple months since I gave it up. I remember getting in my car and thinking ahead to where I was going. I wasn't thinking about where I was; what I was doing at the moment. I mean, I payed attention to the road as much as the next guy, but I didn't focus my whole mind on driving. I imagine that few do. I simply used the car as means to an end. I didn't want to waste my time getting to a place, I just wanted to be there; that attitude made traffic unbearable, but that's just part of life, right? You wanna go somewhere, you gotta get stuck in traffic sometimes.
I wonder how many hours of my Life I missed by focusing so hard on the destination and railing against where I was.
Now I walk almost everywhere I go. I spend a lot more time getting where I'm going. A mile takes 15-45 minutes, depending on the pace I choose. But that's not the major difference. The major difference is where my mind is. It's with me, not waiting for me at my destination. Part of that certainly comes from the slower travel speed; I have time to actually see my surroundings, the birds, the trees, the buildings, the people. But I think that the bigger reason is that there is no inherent tension in walking as transportation. There is a basic, perhaps primal, relaxing effect of moving my body at a natural pace. There's a sense of independence. I own this body, and I can drive it how I want. There's a sense of freedom; I can move it wherever I want. I think that as a culture we have built a lot of stress and pressure into driving. Financial pressures from the cost of purchasing the car, the maintenance, the fuel, the insurance. Stress from the clock: we have these vehicles capable of transporting us long distances in short time, and we've gotten in the habit of giving ourselves as little time as possible to get somewhere, so many of us are always running late. Then there's the legal aspects; all the rules and regulations to obey from maintaining your lights to staying in the proper lane, speed limits, pedestrian crossings, left turn arrows, etc. And the speed limit is never high enough, is it? And driving certainly brings out the competitive nature in many folks. I've heard more than one friends say, "This asshole won't pass ME." Hell, I've said that myself.
We are supposedly a nation that loves our cars. But who actually likes to drive, honestly? I bet they're in the minority.
But that's not the only improvement living a 'lower impact' lifestyle has made.
We do all our laundry by hand now. Well, most of it gets done by foot, in the bathtub. This saves us money (building washer/dryer are each $2.75/load; water is included in our rent). Saving a few bucks is nice, but it's not really a factor in why washing by hand is better. I'd say washing a load, from when I start stomping to when it's all hung on the rack, takes 30 minutes. It might take more, but I've never timed it. The magic of it is that for 30 minutes (or whatever) my brain decompresses. I let go of the brain reins and just let it run. Sometimes I work over philosophical issues. Sometimes I think about financial issues. Sometimes I think about my relationship to my wife. Sometimes childhood memories. One time I did an entire wash and when I was done I couldn't remember thinking about anything, or even doing the wash. I do NOT spend the wash time thinking about what I have to do next. Every time I finish the wash, I feel calm, rational, peaceful. I get a similar good feeling from doing the dishes by hand, though usually not as deep or profound as from doing laundry because the dishes only take about 5 minutes.
There is an important aspect of Zen philosophy that when simplified goes like this: Be where you are. It means don't be thinking about all the stops you have to make between work and home when you're eating breakfast before work, think about eating breakfast; taste your food. Don't think about how today is the last day of your weekend and you have so much work to do tomorrow, enjoy what you're doing on your day off. Don't think about what you're going to say when your lover finishes their sentence, listen to what your lover is saying to you.
It's not easy for everyone. We live in such a fast-paced society that puts a HEAVY emphasis on what's Next. What are you doing tomorrow? What are you doing after work? What's the next step in your career? This American pacing demands that SOMETHING comes next. There is no time to sit and enjoy, to dawdle or meander, because we must get to the next thing.
Perhaps there are people out there who, deep down, really like to live like that and can find satisfaction, deep, meaningful satisfaction, in that way of life. Perhaps. I doubt. Instead, I believe that such pacing, such emphasis on what's next is frighteningly detrimental to the health of people; physically, emotionally, spiritually.
I mean, I'm pretty sure I've become less of an asshole just in the few months since we started down this path. I'm becoming a better listener. I'm more inclined to read something twice and take a few minutes to think about it before I spout off some negative, reactionary statement. I'm more inclined than perhaps I've ever been to think about why somebody else does a thing before I dismiss them as a useless retard. And all of these changes have led to a more positive self image; I'm not perfect, but it's becoming easier and more enjoyable to spend time with myself. Nice, since I'm sorta stuck with me.
Living simpler, greener, like a hippy in a commune, however you want to label it, won't make you a Zen master, and it won't solve all your problems. But from my own admittedly brief experience, I believe that it helps. I believe it is conducive to a calmer, more rational, more compassionate mindset. Add that to the positive impact it has on health and environmental issues and you just can't lose.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)